Sneha Jaiswal (Twitter | Instagram)
“My Dear friend Charlotte died one Wednesday in May 2018. She was 34 years old. A few weeks after XC died, I started sketching my memories of our friendship. I was worried I might forget things without having her there to remind me. Eventually, I turned the drawings into this book. I think it’s important to say that this story isn’t about C’s life…”
Emilia McKenzie
There are all sorts of graphic novel memoirs out there, most about the artist’s own life, identity, and career struggles. Many others delve into themes like love, relationships with parents or siblings. And then there are the rarer few like “But You Have Friends”, which explores the artist’s relationship with her best friend and her journey to come to terms with her friend’s mental health struggles and suicide.
This graphic novel memoir by Emilia McKenzie she begins with the creator introducing herself and her family, which kept moving countries due to her English father’s job, until they finally moved to back to the UK for good. Just 13, Emilia talks of how it was tough for her to connect with her peers in school, until she met the opinionated Charlotte. The two hit it off and Emilia takes readers through decades worth of friendship, even though the graphic novel is only 118 pages long.
The artwork is very simple, doodle-like, so it might not engage some readers, but it does have a cute-sy charm of its own that might appeal to others. The drawing style is only a notch above stick figure illustrations, but the simple doodles also lends “But You Have Friends” a very personal touch, like you are going through someone’s illustrated daily diary.
Emilie McKenzie categorically says in the introduction to the novel that this book isn’t about Charlotte, but about their friendship, and she poignantly reflects that bond through her art, memories and anecdotes. Emilie and Charlotte start out at two regular teens who vibe to indie music, discuss boys, feminist literature, and bitch out other classmates and everything else under the sun. While they move to different cities for college, they keep in touch, meet up whenever they can, and have a close-knit circle of friends they can depend upon.
Charlotte’s mental health becomes an issue that plagues her through her 20s, and 30s, and while Emilie and others hope she would eventually recover, they aren’t able to grasp the true nature of Charlotte’s crisis, and she is eventually diagnosed with manic depression and spends the last few weeks of her life at an institution. Emilie candidly describes both her initial guilt over not being there enough for her friend because she thought “she will get fine” and the grief she experiences over the loss of a loved one.
The title “But You Have Friends” is thus sadly ironic —one might assume that someone as popular as Charlotte would find solace in her friendships. Unfortunately, life isn’t always that simple. Since the story unfolds through Emilie’s perspective, readers don’t get a full glimpse into what troubled her friend. Charlotte herself admits to feeling unsure about her own struggles, often experiencing episodes of intense crying without clear cause.
Overall, “But You Have Friends” offers an emotional exploration of close friendships and how many of us can unwittingly become too absorbed in our lives, losing sight of those who are dear to us. It’s also a celebration of friends who become like family, and how, even when we don’t fully understand them, simply being there for them—listening to them, watching their favorite movies, or sharing their favorite food—can be a profound act of comfort.
Rating: 4 on 5. “But You Have Friends” is also on Kindle Unlimited.
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