Sneha Jaiswal (Twitter | Instagram)
Thirty-year-old Mica Miller’s body was found by a kayaker in April 2024. Police ruled her death a suicide, but the death of the pastor’s wife left her family and friends questioning the circumstances surrounding her sudden demise. Especially since her husband had been served with divorce papers just two days earlier.
Directed by Julia Willoughby Nason and Michael Gasparro, who previously worked together on ‘American Murder: Gabby Petito’, this three-part series follows Mica’s life and marriage to pastor John-Paul Miller, whom she met at Solid Rock Church in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. She was the worship leader in charge of the choir and was well-known in the church circle. Interviews with friends, family and former church members reveal an abusive relationship that contributed to Mica’s declining mental health. Many assert it drove her to take the drastic step.
When Mica Miller married John-Paul Miller, better known as JP, she was 23 and he was 15 years her senior. The age gap itself isn’t concerning at first, that is until you learn that the two had first met at church when Mica was just 13. At 18, she married her high-school boyfriend, but by 23 that marriage was over after JP began lavishing her with attention and the two started an affair, despite him being married as well. Throughout their relationship, JP had been a significantly older man in a position of considerable power and influence over Mica.
The first episode of ‘Death of the Pastor’s Wife’ opens like most Netflix documentaries seem to these days: with the recording of Mica’s 911 call, in which she tells the police that she plans to kill herself and simply wants them to know where she is so that her family can find her. It sets a dramatic tone for the series. From there, the documentary relies heavily on archival footage to retrace the events surrounding the case, while Mica’s siblings and close friends share their accounts of what happened.
Through its three episodes, ‘Death of the Pastor’s Wife’ uses significant footage from JP’s church sermons, clips of Mica singing, and videos she posted on Facebook indicating that she was in an abusive relationship. The creators also recreate many of her personal diary entries to give voice to her struggles. Friends claim JP was constantly cheating on her, but Mica tried her best to make the marriage work, much of which had to do with her religious beliefs and the idea that the Bible expected wives to submit to their husbands.
“Ladies, wives, if you don’t meet your husband’s sexual needs. Satan will put 20 different options before his eyes before the day’s over with.”
“Denying your husband sex is sexual immorality.”
These are just some excerpts from JP’s church sermons (which are on camera), and they make his stance on sex and marriage pretty clear. He essentially places the responsibility, and blame, on wives if their husbands cheat or stray. What kind of educated people sit through such bullshit and then come back to attend the same church? The misogyny here is clearly alive and thriving. This isn’t some cold case from decades ago. This was the 2020s.
Mica’s siblings also allege that JP tried his best to isolate her from her family, giving him greater control over her. Eventually, Mica did try to escape the marriage and hired a lawyer, who is also interviewed in ‘Death of the Pastor’s Wife’. Unfortunately, she never got very far. From the little we get to know of Mica through friends and family, she comes across as a promising, talented and kind young woman whose life could have taken a very different path.
While its three episodes are paced fairly well, ‘Death of the Pastor’s Wife’ does unnecessarily repeat some information along the way. And even though JP declined to be interviewed, I wish the creators had found someone willing to present his side of the story, if only to give the documentary a little more balance. That said, one former church member who once believed strongly in JP does offer an interesting perspective, admitting that she lost faith in the pastor after learning something disturbing about him.
At its heart, ‘Death of the Pastor’s Wife’ works best as a cautionary tale about allowing religious dogma and societal/community expectations to dictate your life. Mica was burdened with the expectation of being the perfect pastor’s wife, while JP appears to have repeatedly exploited the very beliefs that made her determined to stay. Without that burden, perhaps Mica might have had the chance to leave it all behind and still be alive today.
Watch Death of the Pastor’s Wife on Netflix.
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