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‘What happened to me is just one big crazy story. You cannot make it up.’
Netflix documentary ‘Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare’ is about Londoner Kirat Assi, who was in an online relationship with a man called Bobby Jandu for years until she found out that it was all fake. Directed by Lyttanya Shannon, the documentary is seen through Kirat’s lens, who candidly reveals the events of her online relationship. The real Bobby Jandu is also interviewed, though his side of the story is brief—he had no idea his identity had been stolen to manipulate and deceive Kirat for years.
This is a sad, unfortunate case of a vulnerable young woman, recently out of a long-term relationship, being deceived by someone she knew. Kirat first became Facebook friends with Bobby in 2011 and the two remained close online friends for four years, never meeting in person. However, Kirat’s cousin was dating Bobby’s younger brother, so she knew he was a real person. After being friends for 4 years, the two started dating online, and Bobby would always find a reason to not meet her, like claiming to be in a near fatal accident that damaged his vocal chords (so they weren’t even speaking, just chatting). The two even got engaged without ever meeting in person, like in the Netflix show ‘Love is Blind‘, but with a catfish twist. It wasn’t until 2018 that Kirat hired a private investigator and discovered Bobby’s address. When she confronted him, he failed to recognize her, and the shocking truth emerged: someone Kirat knew had been impersonating Bobby, along with numerous others she believed to be Bobby’s friends or family.
Of course it seems ludicrous that Kirat, a seemingly smart, successful woman allowed herself to be deceived so terribly and for so long, but there are also a lot of psychological factors at play – the perpetrator knew her, and the timing of Bobby’s confession was a little after Kirat’s devastating break-up with her childhood sweetheart. There was also considerable pressure on her to get married, something, she too desperately wanted for herself. These factors made her a more gullible prey for the fake, wealthy, dashing Bobby Jandu.
The documentary feels unnecessarily long, and the creators miss out on the most crucial interview—the one with the catfish. A statement at the end notes that they attempted to reach out but were declined. MTV has an entire series called Catfish, with multiple seasons featuring people confronting those who had deceived them online. While the perpetrators are often strangers, many times they turn out to be friends, classmates, acquaintances, or even family. In an increasingly digital world, these stories serve as an important warning about the dangers of getting too involved with someone online before meeting them in person.
The biggest take-away from ‘Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare’? Don’t date somebody without meeting them IRL, unless you’re both looking for a consensual, ‘virtual only’ relationship.
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