Night Teeth Review – All Bass, No Bite

The only thing good about the 2021 vampire Netflix film “Night Teeth” is the music. The movie is laden with some groovy hip-hop songs with good bass, makes you want to use one of those music apps to recognize the tracks. For the first time that I didn’t even bother to finish the film to look up the sound-track, even took a ‘social media’ break, browsed through my feed, tweeted a little, before hitting resume on the pause button.

Directed by Adam Randall, ‘Night Teeth’ feels like it’s made by a rich teen who really wanted to make something vampire-themed for Halloween. Visually, the film looks great, it’s stylish, has a very video-game aesthetic, with a lot of neon-lights and bright colors. The first few minutes feauture a lot of cool street-art and graffiti. Actor Jorge Lendeborg Jr. plays the protagonist Benny, a young college student, who covers for his brother as a chauffeur one night. He is driving two mysterious young women, who want to party-hop around Los Angeles through the night. They are actually vampires on a mission to annihilate some their own kind. Lucy Fry is Zoe and Debby Ryan plays Blaire, the blood-suckers Benny is driving around town. While Jorge has some charm as the clueless college student, the two ladies have zero charisma. They feel more like adult delinquents, than the badass killers director Randall perhaps intended them to be.

After the first thirty minutes, it gets challenging to keep your interest up; maybe Randall’s team shouldn’t have picked all those kick-ass songs, the plot just cannot keep up with the beats, and comes across as a shit-fest in comparison. There is a completely useless ‘blink and miss’ cameo by Megan Fox, so if you are a fan, don’t get your hopes up. Also, it’s probably good that Fox had only a few seconds, because I don’t even remember the last time I saw her on screen, and she seems to have gotten rusty in the acting department, or maybe she didn’t get paid enough to care.

‘Night Teeth’ is so boring and disappointingly predictable that I wouldn’t even put it under the bracket of ‘silly flick you can watch with your friends if you don’t want to pay attention to details’. There are no details anyway. The writer is someone called Brent Dillon who hasn’t written any other screenplay in the past, this is literally the only writing credit he has on his IMDB page.

It’s a 4/10 from me. Reminds one of the phrase ‘all bark, no bite’.